Gold Man Toilet Attachment Thinks It’s a Urinal

Gold Man promises to turn your ordinary toilet into a urinal. When it’s time to pee, just place the Gold Man on the toilet, and there you have it, a big porthole for your piss that supposedly keeps all that messy splashing off the bathroom floor, walls and ceiling. When you’re done, you simply place the Gold Man back on its specially made base that sits next to the toilet.

This goofy looking attachment might come in handy for men with profound aiming problems, or maybe guys with prostate trouble that causes them to spray rather than stream. The company also recommends the Gold Man for the occasional barfing session you may encounter, keeping your head out of the loo and perhaps avoiding an unintentional swirly.

Hey, wait a minute here. You still have to clean the Gold Man, don’t you? Its makers recommend using a shower spray to rinse it off after each use. Huh? Just spray it in the shower, and you’re golden? That’s going to be a lot of trouble; it would probably be easier to clean your bathroom after each use, or just pee in the shower. Forget this bullshit. Get a real urinal—we recommend the Kohler Bardon Touchless. – Charlie White

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