Anti-Violence Electrode Shock Gun = Everything But Death

Ow. If this is anti-violence, then I am the Pope, I have just got divorced and I live with seventeen PORGs and a double-jointed donkey called Jehosephat Spanglethong. The Anti-Violence Electrode Shock Gun (but you can call it Pain) is a multi-talented weapon that can be used with paint bullets, rubber bullets (we all know how anti-violent THEY are, don’t we?), pepper spray, as well as the rather scary-sounding probe cartridges, which override the central nervous system and cause temporary incapacitation, rather like a Taser gun.

You can attach an electric baton to it so that you can prod your victim without having to get too close to him, and there’s an 180 cd Xenon light to “giddy” your opponent (translation: temporarily blind him so he won’t see you storm up and land your size 15s in his nuts). Apparently it makes the perfect present for customs officers, the army, police, little sisters, librarians and Donald Rumsfeld. And all of this comes at a price: I think we can guess what that is. – Ad Dugdale

Product Page [Techwisetech via Red Ferret]